2nd Hand Advice

The kingdom of God is like making up in a broken relationship.

A once happy, fulfilling relationship between man and woman ended in heartbreak.  He did something that hurt her in a very bad way.  She was visibly stricken.  It might have been easily forgiven if he had just apologized in that moment.

He knew what he did was wrong, but couldn’t bring himself to admit it.  To make matters worse, in his arrogance and insensitivity, he tried to argue he did it and nothing was wrong with what he did.

Time went by.  They remained separated even longer.  Deep down in his soul, he knew she was the one for him.  There was no denying it.  He couldn’t stop thinking about her.  She loved him too and never forgot him.  But she knew she could not take him back.  The emotional scars were deep and a rebound would bring back too many painful memories.

We too became separated from God as a result of one terrible thing done long ago.  Adam’s singular act of defiance and disobedience forever marked mankind with a sin nature, a propensity to be disobedient and do things that damage our relationship with God.

But God still loves us and wants us back.  Unlike the woman, he devised a way for us to come back and re-enter the wonderful joyous relationship we once had before sin entered.  He offered up his son Jesus Christ as an offering to pay the penalty for the sins we still commit that keep us separated from Him.  All we have to do is accept Christ as Lord and savior.

The bible says confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and you shall be saved.   When you do this, you can once again enjoy a fulfilling, loving, personal relationship with God.  You can rest assure that your sins have been forgiven and you will enjoy eternal life.

One last point. You might wonder why you need to do all of that to get back with God.  The answer is you don’t have the right to determine how to come to God.  No more than the man has the right to determine how he will come back to his soul mate.  She sets those conditions because she is the one who was hurt.  Since she doesn’t have to take him back, she alone has the right to call the terms and conditions of the new relationship.  He must choose to satisfy those conditions or forever be without his true love.  That’s all. 

If you want to come back to God, have your sins forgiven, and experience unspeakable joy and peace in your life, then pray this simple prayer:

Dear Lord, I’m sorry for my sins.  Please forgive me for the wrong I’ve done and the      wrong I’ve been.  I want to be saved.  I believe that Jesus is the son of God.  I believe that He died for my sins.  I believe that He arose from the dead. I now accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior, and  I thank you for saving me.  Thank you taking me back and for giving me new life.

Welcome to your new relationship with Almighty God through Jesus Christ. You now enjoy all the benefits of being a child of God.  Now find a Bible believing, Bible studying church and grow in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Before you can lead (influence) your children and be a good father, you need a relationship of trust and openness.  You may need to regain your position as a loving, caring father.  Here are my top ten things you can do to become a better father:

1. Take responsibility and apologize— for any damage you did to them or the relationship.
2. Show humility – open dialogue into the areas that caused the most damage and let them know you want to put that behind and start new.  This step will also model courage.
3. Spend time with them doing the things they want to do – get to know them as people, how they look at the world, what their interests are, what they enjoy doing.
4. Always look for ways to encourage and provide recognition. Parents need to give their kids positive reinforcement.  They need to feel good about themselves and their relationship with you.
5. Reward them for good behavior,  and when they make mistakes, admonish them by attacking the behavior and not them as persons.
6. Tell them you love them – let them know they are lovable and you’re their number # 1 fan.  Help them develop a healthy self-image.
7. Help them figure out and discover their passion.  If your child is a creative person expose them to art forms.  Invest in their passion.  If music, and you can afford it, get them music lessons.  If its poetry, find out where there are poetry readings in the community or at the local college campus.
8. Be patient – no matter how much you teach and instruct, they will make mistakes and poor choices.  When they make mistakes, be patient.   This is when we can do the most damage,  particularly if we are emotional types. Take a deep breath and use those moments to teach about consequences and spend less time criticizing.
9. Give them some room to grow.  We tend to smother and that’s what can drive them away. When you know they’ve made a poor decision, you may want to let it go.  Create a safety net,  but sometimes we need our children to experience the consequences of bad decisions.
10. Challenge them…..to do the right thing in handling their business.  Challenge them to step out of their comfort zone into experiences and relationships that will help them grow.