2nd Hand Advice

1.  Take Inventory – do a list and reflect on it regularly, especially your accomplishments and lessons learned.  Be specific to you.  Update as often as you learn something new about yourself.

• Strengths
• Weaknesses
• Things you like
• Things you don’t  like
• Accomplishments
• Lessons learned

2.   Do a Daily Journal – take 15 minutes at the end of each day and think about what happened.  Recount your morning, afternoon, people you interacted with, things you did.

• Write down three things you learned today
• Write down one or more significant things that happened to you today
• Write down how your handled something successfully
• If you got angry, write down what at and why
• If you felt really good about something, write down what and why

3.  Step outside of yourself and outside your comfort zone, and do or say something nice to/for someone else. God designed us to be happy when we give or do something for someone. We all want to be recognized, loved and we should give it to others.   The smallest gesture or word, can be the biggest boost for someone.

• Say something nice or encouraging to:
  – someone you don’t know
  – someone you don’t come in contact with regularly
  – someone you don’t normally interact with at work or at school
  – Example: at work, someone who would least expect you to speak to them, cashier at a supermarket checkout stand, at the gas station if you see a nice looking car, compliment the owner.  If someone (like a cashier or waitress) has on a name tag, call them by their first name.  Compliment when there’s good service.
• Examples
  –  That’s a great looking shirt…where did you did you get that
  – You look happy today, how can I get some of that (say if its natural)
  – Your doing a great job or keep up the good work.  I know management doesn’t tell you, but I thought I should

4.  Do something for yourselfand by yourself once a week.   Incr. frequency overtime.

• Do something you enjoy
• Spend time with yourself
• If you like cars, pick out some cars and go to the car dealership and sit in one
• If you like gadgets, go spend half a day in Frys looking at the latest stuff.  Find events and trade shows that may be coming to the area that focus on your area of interest.

5.  Always look at the glass as being half full, instead of half empty.  Stay positive and try to find the bright side of every situation.  Even a bad situation can have a bright side and can result in something good.   Sometimes the best advice is the criticism that hurts the most.   Everyday you get up, you can spend your time on the negative, or on the positive.  Every moment your thinking something negative or are angry, is a moment you could be thinking something positive and learning from a situation.  

6.  Get rid of guilt and anger.   These emotions cause mental confusion, tie up your consciousness, occupy and waste your time.  Say your sorry if you did or said something wrong or hurtful, whether to a friend or stranger.

Admit when you make a mistake.  Don’t be afraid to say:  “my bad”, “my mistake”, “that was my fault”.  Learn from the incident.  The learning makes you the better and stronger than if it’d never happened.  If you carry the mistake, you’ll probably do it again, then begin to justify in your mind why your right, when your heart is telling you your wrong.   You’ll feel both angry and guilty you didn’t do the right thing when you know you should have.  Also, remember mistakes cause confusion and dysfunction, even if for a moment.  So your mistakes actually can have a negative impact on people and that can create guilt if you don’t admit the mistake and/or apologize.   

Don’t carry things  people did to you.  A lot of anger can be conjured up from things people do to us.  If someone did or said something that was uncalled for, ignore them.  Don’t let it in.   Don’t be drawn into their confused, unhappy, angry world.

When you run into a negative person, someone you don’t know, don’t engage them.  Again ignore them or say something positive.  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t defend yourself in certain situations and stand up for what you believe.  The idea is, your time and energy are valuable and you decide how your going to use them……on frivolous emotions, people and things……. or on the things you really care about.